Fashion Fail

I will not wear a baby sleep suit in the park.

I will not wear a baby sleep suit to go shopping with Mark.

I will not wear a baby sleep suit to go out for lunch.

I will not wear a baby sleep suit while drinking punch.

I will not wear a baby sleep suit with my spouse, 

Even if his name was Klouse.

Not with polka dots, or polar bear prints.

Not with Multicoloured chintz.

Not even with welly boots,

 Because I do like these adult sized baby sleep suits!

Why so impatient?

Turn up the radio, and chill out a sec.

There is no need to practically mow down hatchlings to get ahead of the tractor.

Or new brain wave, leave a little earlier next time....

(I mean seriously, where the heck are you going that is so urgent on this peedie island?)

Little dude

Hatchling no5

likes to have his photo taken.

'No way,

you are not going to let them,

crash my photo shoot,

are you???'

'I am so out of here.'

Child safety gate

Fail.

Rice krispys

In this house, cereal is a rarity.

The hatchlings take turns picking out a box, which then sits in the cupboard, sometimes for months.

Until mama gets sick, or morning sick, at which point out comes the cereal.

Easy breakfast, I can almost stomach smelling in the first three months of pregnancy.

A gentle treat on poorly hatchling tummies when a stomach bug goes through the house.

Typically, cereal has been stored away in the top cupboards.

Yesterday, I needed a box, to send a parcel, to someone dear to me.

So, I stole the Rice Krispy box, and shoved the bag in a bottom cupboard.

Mistake.

This little guy has never been shy about helping him self.

He wakes up from a nap, and scratching the back of his head, he heads straight into the kitchen and opens the fridge.

It has never occurred to him that all food was not specifically placed there for him.

So, when I looked up from bathing the baby, and heard him saying, 'Mmmm... not bad. Little bit crunchy.'

I was not surprised.

When I found him here -

I was not thrilled, but not surprised. My bad. 

When I saw this, I thought I better forewarn you.

We left your boots by the shoe rack.

Sorry.

But forewarned is forearmed, right?

Walking along the pier.

When hatchling no1 looks up and says to me, 'Mama, there are no trains here?'

'Nope, just boats, horses, and cars.'

'You must miss them.' She says thoughtfully. 'You got such a short time with them.'

'I'm not sure sweetheart. Why do you ask?'

'Well, trains hadn't been invented yet, when you were a child. They must have been amazing to see for the first time.' 

'Huh. Perhaps we should get a book on trains when we go to the library.'

(I'm not that old, child!)

All boy

'Fingers out of your nose!' I told hatchling no4.

'Sumpting live in my nose.' He confided. 

'Nothing lives in your nose, and certainly not fingers.' I told him

'Sumpting scary!' He whispered.

'Fine. Let's blow it out.' I plugged the open nostril.

Take you finger away and blow hard.

Smack. 

Something hit me on the cheek. 

Yuck.

And it was scary.

It was a live fly. A big black one.

Hatchling no4 put his finger up his nose.

'Sumpting live in my nose.'

'It is gone sweetie, all gone.' I said trying to reassure myself.

Hatchling no4 plugged his right nostril again and blew hard.

Thunk.

Another fly hit the carpet.

Still a - freaking - live.

'How many bugs did you put up your nose?' I asked him, hoping it was rhetorical.

'Three.'

'Three?'

'Need a bedroom, so put d'em in mine nose.'

'Uh, no. No bedrooms in your nose.'

He looked at me sympathetically.

'I know 'dat now, Mama.'

So, I had him blow again.

Out came a beetle.

How big are this kid's nostrils... seriously!

'Anymore?' 

'Nope, all gone.'

Sigh.

Cheerio gifts

See how much happy can be created, 

by a big brother sharing his cheerios...

If I did not study science, I would go forth and tell the world, happiness, is having a cheerio behind your ear.

Nah, forget science, go forth and put a cheerio behind your ear. It might just make you as happy as it makes him.

Once upon a hatchling play

there was a little guard,

and when she did things right and followed her lines, the queen was not forced to chase her about the stage smacking her with her wand...

but all the king's cupcakes,

and all the king's crayons,

could not get this hatchling to sit still on his chair, again.

So, she gazed at all, and said 'Mama... I peed!'

And that my friends, is no fairy tale.....

Hatchling is on the case

'Don't worry Mama, I got him!'

Little escape artist never stood a chance.

I hate hangers!

There, I said it.

I got it off my chest. It feels good.

I hate how they seem to migrate into every room in the house. It would seem I am alone in thinking they should live out all of their days in exile... I mean the closet.

I think they know how much I loath them. They resist my packing attempts.

You see I did not want to use more than a single boxes on them. So I stuffed them all in. All of them... even the girls' not so modest collection.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the box gave way to... now the clothes hangers have come out to frolic and play.

I'm not fooled. I am sure they are simply mocking me.

Now I am off to find a larger box and more tape. I will not be thwarted again.