Reorganising, rediscovering, and kicking up a fuss

Change.

Change.

Change.

Nope, no matter how I type it, it still looks like a swear word from where I am sitting.

Comfortable.

Now, there is a word I like.

Life is rarely ideal, but comfortable, that is just about the way I like it.

It is what I know.

What I like, and most importantly, what I can usually predict.

(Unless a hatchling happens to be helpful. This little hatchling handwashes my favourite coffee mug. To help mama, no matter my protests, and I am thankful. Now, the first clue that there was change would have been the half a litre of dish soap gone astray. Nonetheless, my mug of coffee, bubbly coffee, that smelt and tasted of lemon, certainly was not comfortable. Thank you hatchling no 4!)

Motivation.

There is my achilles heel.

I have goals, and I am motivated to try to attain them.

Often this requires change. Dirty word that one. 

Even worse, is when the path to my goals changes.

I get all flustered, and start to fear that maybe, my goals have changed, and I must find new goals.

What is up with that? 

 I hold each goal up to the light, and inspect it carefully before placing it gently back in my 'to accomplish' box.

They (my goals) are steadfast.

Thank goodness.

But the road there is not as simple or as short as I thought.

Go figure, that is blooming par for the course!

I have a handful of hatchlings and as they grow, the world turns and everything changes. 

It is enough to make this mama stomp her feet, fling herself on the floor and have a proper paddy.

Honestly, just when I have a perfect set of jigsaw puzzles, a wide range for every age group, the hatchlings, they do not want to play puzzles. Seriously, who is going to play puzzles with me! I still like puzzles... 

I digress. 

Because the terrible truth is I even seek it out, and I invite it in for tea. 

I crave change, and all the new possibilities it brings. 

Oh, I am all female! I reserve the right to want it and then fight, kick and scream about it every step of the way.

Yet, I do believe.

I am exactly where I need to be.

And when I think I know what is best for me, when I want to yell, 'but I want, and I want, and I want this!'

I am re - navigated, forced to stare the big ugly, yet harmonious beast of change in the eye.

So, I am going to change and follow the path that is mine to take. 

I will change and go where I need to, and try my best to learn all I can from where ever I am meant to be. 

And no this is not a potty training post. Just in case anyone had wondered, if perhaps it had actually become a fight of that magnitude. Though honestly, boys do want to do this at some point, like as a commitment right? Not a I can do it correctly thirty times and then not again for two weeks! Just cause ya know, I am just not feeling the potty mojo here. Meh, one day he will want a girlfriend, it has to happen at some point!

Poison, the over population myth

The girls had a friend around today.

As the baby burst into tears and hatchling no4 jumped off the sofa for the forty ninth time, she told me, in all her 10 year old wisdom, 'You have too many children.'

A bit taken aback by the comment, I replied, 'But if I had less children some of them wouldn't be here. I feel very lucky to have them.'

'If I had to pick,' she looked at me sternly, 'I'd get rid of the boys. They are too noisy. Maybe hatchling no3, she isn't as much fun to play with. Then you would have two. Two children is perfect.'

Wow.

Are people aware, are they conscious, of these poisons we spoon feed/ allow to be spoon fed, into our children?

Now, our conversation went on for some time. The general gist of which came down to her teacher taught her that the world is over populated, and we are all killing ALL of the precious and far more adorable animals.

So, the seals deserve life, and not the babies... well I could insert an appropriate joke or two, about how I see things differently being Canadian and all.... but I was talking to a child.

I spent most of the conversation just listening, because I genuinely believe that is often what a child needs most. I don't even know if it is worth justifying why I believe it is so indescribably sad that we are poisoning children against other humans, all for the sake of a myth. The world population demographics are skewed. I could post a dozen or more decent links as to why, but seriously, watch Demographic Winter, and then do the research for yourself. The long and short is we have way too few babies being born to support our ageing population.

Regardless, to the man on the bus in 2008 who shouted abuse at me as a 'feckless breeder', to the woman who asked me each and every time I entered the grocery shop 'Why would you do this to your self?', and to the nurse in my GP's office who after both of my last pregnancies gave me the advice I really ought to have my husband mutilated... sorry 'snipped' as this was no way to live my life....

Babies are blessings.

I am so thankful for those that I have been given.

No, they do not fit in cute little ikea storage baskets... (well not for long)

Yes, they do cost money, and time, and patience, and more wisdom, than I feel I am ever going to have.

But, so did each and every one of us.

Why is it so hard to step over a little, make a little space, welcome a new face, love a little bigger?

Why do we spread our own worst fears?

Babies are blessings.